Do you wish you were more confident?

Your answer might be – “Yes! I do want to be confident”.

However, this is a generalized outlook. Everybody wants to do well in life and be successful but not many can ever achieve this. One of the main drawbacks behind this is that to get forward in life you need to have the courage to take that leap. You need to have a defined task for which you need to be confident to implement it successfully. However, a mere wish to be confident won’t get you anywhere without taking action.

Self-confidence might mean various things to different individuals. For instance, confidence to a child might mean the ability to recite a story standing up in front of a teacher or classmates. For a business executive, it might mean to be able to present a business presentation to the Board of Directors. For an employee, it might mean having the courage to switch from a secure job to start their own venture. To execute any of these tasks, these people need a certain level of confidence to see them through.

Do you have a task in your mind to be done? Do you have the level of confidence needed to accomplish it?

Let’s check it out!

The following is a simple questionnaire and requires a YES or NO answer:

1. Do you find yourself being indecisive and often rely on your colleagues, friends, or your partner to sort out issues for you?
2. Do you always find yourself in need of a support system in which you feel secure?
3. Do you find it difficult to participate in meetings?
4. Do you feel difficulty in reporting matters to your boss?
5. Do you find it terrifying to meet new people?
6. Is public speaking one of your worst nightmares?
7. Do you accept orders from your superior albeit you are already overloaded and want to say no?
8. Are you excessively concerned about what other people think of you? 
9. Do you feel dissatisfied with your appearance?
10. Are you uncomfortable in social gatherings such as parties?

If you’ve answered “Yes” to most of these questions then it may be that you have a confidence crisis that is affecting your daily life.

But Don’t Panic!

Think of it as a positive step in resolving a potential problem that you are now conscious of in your life. The fact that you now know this, it will allow you to prepare yourself for the necessary steps and work needed to eliminate these negative effects on your confidence.

How to Overcome a Confidence Crisis

A confidence crisis has many triggers; some examples include losing an important business order, the break-up of a relationship, or losing a job. When this happens, even something small can send you over the edge. To protect yourself from such situations, you need to take control of yourself and your life. You must learn to ignore external stimuli and not be overly sensitive and affected by what people say about you.

The following are some tips on boosting self-confidence:

1. Maintain a diary and write all the positive things that happened during the day. At the end of each day reflect on this, you will be surprised with the number of positive things that took place which you had missed. This exercise will help you think positively and dispel any doubts you have. This will also break the stranglehold of negative thoughts that had lowered your self-confidence, and generated negative thoughts about your abilities and skills.
2. Experts believe that repeating positive affirmations to yourself every day can prepare your mental state to achieve success [1]. Picture yourself winning a competition and achieving your goals. Express gratitude for the things you have in your life, you will notice that you are getting better at what you do, and you will feel the difference.
3. Take some time to think about your close relationships. If a friend has a negative influence on your self-confidence, or if this friendship is more of a burden than a pleasure, you may be better off if you stop meeting that person. Instead, try to build new relationships with positive people you like and admire and who are supportive of you. You could form a group of supportive friends and give them your support in turn. A sense of belonging is fundamental to one’s well-being [2]. This will do your self-confidence a world of good.
4. Stop wasting your energy on things that can go wrong. Think about the worst thing that could happen and you will realize that it is not the end of the world. Be realistic and understand that no one is perfect. Prepare yourself and accept that everyone suffers rejection at some point in their life. Learn from your mistakes, don’t dwell on them, and move on.
5. Focus on subjects that you have control over and reduce your exposure to events over which you have little or no control. Monitor your internal voice, and silence the negative voice that keeps criticizing you.
6. It’s important to remember the things you’re good at. Recall on previous positive experiences where you have excelled and been recognized for your achievements. Take time out and make this a regular task, this will increase the belief you have in yourself that you will achieve success again.
7. Visualize a situation that worries you and write down these points. Think of people who have managed to successfully cross these hurdles and ask yourself, if they could do it then why can’t I? Think of yourself as someone who is strong and brimming with confidence and is ready to take up any challenge and push yourself. Make this a regular habit. You will find that you too will overcome these obstacles.
8. Self-confidence is more than a simple state of mind; it also impacts your physical well-being. Studies show that regular exercise adds to your energy levels and makes you feel fitter and confident while reducing stress levels [3]. Join a gym and take up classes; you will gain confidence as you notice improvements in your health.
9. You must also learn to develop a voice and speak up. When you hesitate to speak, you are doing yourself an injustice. You become a prisoner of your shyness which in turn eats into your self-esteem and self-confidence. Don’t allow this situation to continue. Try to realize that you may be benefiting others by expressing your views.
10. Remember, change takes time; you need to believe in yourself. Set measurable goals and take small steps to achieve what you desire. Once you accomplish the task, celebrate it!

References

[1]		Psychology Today: Seeing Is Believing: The Power of Visualization

[2] Baumeister & Leary, 1995

[3]

Science Daily: Want a better work-life balance? Exercise, study finds